What is the best way to approach schools and teachers?
Most children with IBD attend ordinary schools, colleges and universities. School is a central part of your child’s life and they should be able to take part in most activities just like any other child.
“I always tried to get her to go to school despite tummy aches. I was pushing
to make life as normal as possible. After all, it’s a condition she has to live
with. If I treated her like an invalid she would all too readily fulfil that role.”
(Mum of a 9 year old with UC)
Although some children may have to miss school during relapses, chances are that most of the time they will be well enough to attend as normal. For a few children there may be a temptation for them to use their illness as an excuse to stay off school unnecessarily. The best policy is probably to expect your child to attend school unless he or she is definitely unwell. If you are worried that your child is falling behind because of time off school, talk to the class teacher about the possibility of home tuition or extra help in class.
Children vary in terms of how much they want other children at school to know about their IBD. Some may appreciate a teacher explaining their condition to the class, others would find this highly distressing. It is usually a good idea to discuss this with your child before you talk to their teachers.
In general, schools are better informed now about IBD than in the past, and most teachers and other school staff are accepting and helpful once they know what is involved in your child’s condition. We have an information sheet, Children and Young People with IBD: A guide for schools, which you may find useful when talking to your child’s school. This explains IBD symptoms and likely treatments, and includes suggestions of ways in which the school can help your child, for instance by allowing them leave the classroom to go to the toilet without asking, or to sit near the door in case of a toilet emergency. It also covers schools’ legal responsibilities towards children with disabilities and medical needs, which may apply to a child with severe IBD. You may wish to give your child’s teachers a copy of the information sheet.
“We took the information about IBD into school and asked for it to be shown
to everyone, from teachers to dinner ladies. Now the school fully understands
what he has to cope with, they are very helpful, and do their utmost to make
his school life happy.”
(Mum of a 7 year old with UC )
How can I help my child cope with stress at school?
Some parents may worry about their child being teased or picked on at school, perhaps about toilet ‘accidents’ or delayed physical development. Some children find it difficult to talk about this, even to parents. Signs that your child may be being bullied can include nervousness, temper tantrums, violence or sudden misbehaviour like playing truant. Talk to your child’s teacher if you are worried and make sure your child knows what to do.
Some children may find that stress can make their IBD worse, this could mean that the stress of exams could trigger a relapse of symptoms. You may need to offer extra support at this time, and ensure that they do not overdo their exam preparation. Children need to find a balance between doing sufficient study to perform well, and staying well. Make sure your child has time to rest and have fun, as well as working. It can be a good idea to check that the school is aware that exams can be a particular problem for children with a fluctuating and unpredictable illness like IBD.
Schools and colleges can often postpone internal exams or dates for handing in assignments, if necessary, and special arrangements can sometimes be made for GCSEs and A-levels. Children with IBD may be covered by the Equality Act 2010, under which the school has a responsibility to make reasonable adjustments to prevent them being placed at a disadvantage.
Coming up in Part 6 - More Information and Support
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