At the age of 16 I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, but it was
long before that that I
decided on a career in fashion. Aged 10 I sent 40 hand
drawn designs to my favourite high street store and at 15 asked British Vogue
for work experience. Working in the fashion industry has always been my dream
and being diagnosed with a chronic disease was not going to change that.
I am now 21, and am still as determined as always to make this dream
a reality. For the past five and half years I have battled not only with
school, university and work experience but also with my health. I am very open
about my condition but hate to be seen as an ‘ill person’.
I have always
soldiered on, with no complaints, rather than make a fuss even when the
exhaustion and pain is unbearable. I have learnt the hard way that this is not
always the best attitude to have, and sometimes your body really does need a
rest. However, I think this determination to not let Crohn’s stand in my way
has benefited my life in the fashion industry. Despite stays in hospital, being
on endless amounts of medication and missing months of school and Uni I have
still managed to secure placements at some of the world’s leading fashion
magazines. Over the years I have also learnt to listen to my body, when I need
to take it easy and sleep that is exactly what I do; I no longer fight against
IBD.
In September 2012 I began what has been the worst flare so far and
this one has been different. Rather than just having a flare in my large
intestine, as before, this time round I have also developed a perianal flare. I
went from having internships lined up for months to spending my days in the
bath or in bed, trying to soothe the pain. My Drs have tried every medication
available but unfortunately last month I found out that I will be needing an
ileostomy. Hopefully it will be reversed once my bowel has been rested but the
likelihood is my bag (‘Margaret’) will be permanent. This will be a huge life
style adjustment, not only will I have to get to grips with owning a stoma bag
and never pooing or farting in the same way again but it also comes with huge
body image challenges.
I have chosen to make my way in one of the most glamorous and cut
throat industries and Crohn’s is not a glamorous disease. Drs help you deal with
the practical, medical aspect of owning a stoma, but for a lot of people it is
the appearance and how it makes you feel that are the biggest hurdles. I don’t
like to think of myself as vain but I know for me, I worry about what clothes I
will wear and how I will lie on the beach in a bikini again, and I don’t think
I am alone in worrying about this.
I want to show people that despite having a chronic disease you can
still achieve everything that you want to. I want to get rid of the stigma that
comes with having an IBD and make it okay to talk about! I also want to
concentrate on IBD and the fashion industry.
There are so many options out there for stoma owners and I have only
just started my journey with Margaret, but I think a lot more can be done.
That is why I have started my blog www.giftofthegab1.blogspot.co.uk,
so that I can share my journey with you all. I tackle IBD with light hearted
humour, but I am also frank and honest. I talk about everything that comes with
having Crohn’s as well as the life of a fashion intern. I look at clothes and
swimwear and how I can make owning a stoma work for me. There are many
challenges still to come my way but in true Gabi style I will tackle them head
on and always with a smile on my face.
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